Monday, July 31, 2006

My Inspirations by L-H-K: Star Trek and William Shatner featuring YOUTUBE Video Magic

Hello Blogosphere! I am L-H-K, I originally came from Denmark to the USA many years ago. I want to share with you why I left my beloved Jutland for wider shores. I apologise if my English is not perfect.

My story begins in Jutland within a small Goat herding community 10 miles south of Skarrild. I was a bright, happy young thing frolicking in the woods withj my brothers, sisters, friends and goats until the day my papa Henrik Jacob Knauff brought home a Philips colour television.

Henrik Jacob Knauff 1917-1997

My family were amazed. I was to, but this television had a program the likes of which I had never seen before. My life changed forever with STAR TREK. Captain Kirk played by William Shatner was my hero.

Diginified, corageous, bold he and Star Trek inspired me to leave the safety of Denmark. They spoke to my soul, my yearning to explore, to meet new peoples, to boldy go where no Dane had gone before. I travelled, and now I am here.

A noble leader, a man's man, prepared to put his life at risk fopr his crew as this video shows fighting the mighty Gorn. Or fight his best friend Spock as below

I live by his example everyday to do what is right for sake of my colleagues.
TO be a gifted actor and singer to the degree Shatner is rare in Jutland or perhaps anywhere else in central europe. Note in this video his immense range and power. His mighty lungs, his flared nostrils, the immaculate teeth. All in the service of great performance and art:

I was inspired by his character as an actor, singer and a human being. Although I am a better singer than Shatner I can appreciate fine vocal efforts into the unknown. Here is a great video example of his unique, postmodern vocal skill fromm the 1977 Science Fiction Film awards:

William Shatner singer, poet, thinker, actor, explorer of boundaries the very model of what I aspire to on a daily basis. I met him at a convention in the 1984 promoting the Commodore Vic-20. Here is a video of the advert that was on television shortly afterwards. I am so pleased people on the internet save this magic for postererity.

As well inspiring a lifelong fascination with computers, he gave me the autograph below, and these words of wisdom that I never forget as we discussed my passion for Vaflers:

“Don't just shove food into your mouth. Taste the flavor exploding in your mouth. Appreciate the texture. Honor your food with the time you take.”

I live by these words on a daily basis. He told me of the rough times he had trying to survive on the mean streets of San Franciso before Star Trek. These private words inspire me further everyday as try to do the best I can for my friends, colleagues and spreadsheets.

As Captain Kirk once said about life:

"Risk is our business. That's what this starship is all about. That's why we're aboard her."

I hope you enjoyed my first post.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Eureka! The Worlds First Humaroon joins THE SUPER BLOGGERS CLUB

Please welcome fellow poet, ironing board, and mime artist the WORLDS FIRST half man/half Macaroon hybrid to the SUPER BLOGGERS CLUB:

Name Censored by litigant's attorneys at law WOLFRAM & HART

I am very sure all the young female readers out there will be pleased to feel his striking young face and personality slipping through the cyberether.

Unfortunately L-H-K is too busy working on his spreadsheets at the moment to post or even comment. However, I am reliably informed he will make some such effort tommorow.

Kind Regards

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

David Hasselhoff - Get in My Car

With kind regards to Scruffy Anonymous, may we present the finest, latest offering from the golden Hoff:

Sunday, July 23, 2006

An Ode to Weakling Scum

Greetings, poetry fans. I have returned from my extended holiday in Bavaria supporting the TEAM USA soccerball team. IT is a shame those Italian Poppinjays won the World Cup after the elbow and lashings they dealt out to my boys in the group stages. Alas, here is poem about those arch jackanapes of the tournament, PORTUGAL

This a ploy
to enjoy the shots of Part one to Three
It its fair to have my doubts
Exactly why they keep falling over
Much in identifying the Portugese's shifty looks
a little more frightening and weak legs
DeviaTING from the true spirit Line of fairplay
The weakling spirit of the Portugese
Under the imposing Big Phil Hackman
First of giving the shots of the motions
Then simply falling over
Not cursed with skinny bodies, arms and heads
Rather, unfortunately, the weakling spirit

A Threnody to Fairplay by the Cloned Corpse of Marcus Tal..

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Of the search for the cranial apendage of Scruffy

Following the scruffy based disaster you may have all read about on the pages of this very blog I must relate to you the details of the mission I despatched the Death Squad of Marcus Tal on. The aim of this mission was to retrieve the head of Scruffy so it could be reattached with the latest development in Macaroon technology the Macaroon trans-perambulator.

As this was expected to be a particularly tricky mission our plucky band of heroes reported to the extensive Marcus Tal training base network located in the pyranees.
There they were met by the Director of training of Marcus Tal or as he is otherwise known "Eric Roberts"

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So without further ado lets introduce the tutors who would be tarining our elite team in the extra skills they would require for their mission.

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Roger Delgado specialises in stealth and disguise skills, under his knowing gaze our crack team would be able to sneak up on even the most alert sentry or disguise themselves so well that even their own mothers would not know them.

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Yllib is our mysterious expert in the esoteric skills of Slamming as well as our resident devotee of Cthulhiana. It is rumoured that Enaz's interest in these areas is so great that he has the immortal words "Ia! Ia! Cthulhu! Fhtagn! tattooed on his scrotum. He is also thought to have an alliance with the mighty Fletchos.

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These two gents are masters of a style of improvisational comedy so lethal that its use is actually against the geneva convention. As a result they take a vow never to use their skills in public. A wise attitude that can be seen in their public persona, where they like to explore the bright lights of fame squashed together in a fat suit and travelling under the name Peter Kay.

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Mr Beavers is the resident master of advanced first aid. In this photo he is demonstrating a type o head bandaging so arcane that it can be applied with ones feet.

Last but not least:

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Chris is the morale officer for the base, his role is to teach the Death Squad skills in close harmony singing and military duck call playing, important skills indeed as I am sure anyone would agree.

So what happened?

Unfortunatley the death squad were wiped out on their first night in the base when they failed in their first task set by Mr Latta when they proved unable to pacify a Great White Shark by playing their duck whistles underwater.

So what of Scruffy American?

Well as luck would have it a cleaner at the Marcus Tal show room found a head labelled "Lalla Ward original head do not destro" in the back of a broom cupboard. As it seemed a good size we attached it to scruffys body and everyone agreed you could hardly tell the difference.



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