REVELATIONS

Gather round, hear me, for I shall unveil a cowardly would be murderer and his associates:

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The mystery murderer in my analytical opinion is:

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THE DESSICATED CORPSE OF MARCUS TAL

The excessive elaborate violence of the bid, designed to generate more than a few dead chunks of my clone DNA is a trademark of this brute. This fiend holds a vendetta the size of the Isle of Wight against myself and dehydrated corpse. He is the perfect tool for sinisters powers, who jealous of my superb science and poechemy and the dehydrated one's fine hair and military mind, would use him as a fool/tool to ensure our destruction and gain access to the secret wonders of this site and my magical poechemitcal word forge. It matters not that the password for my site is hardcoded into my DNA. I changed the password on the site before my demise, on a tip off from, that fine clone brother and truth seeker, the evaporated and condensed clone of Marcus Tal.

Sadly as well, the dryskinned fiend has been aided by two traitors, Shinzon and Tomalok, the cowboy and biker respectively (in the photo below) of the dehydrated corpse's praetorian guard The Tal Shiar Death Squad who turned the dehydrated corpse's anger and frustration against a good friend of mine Scruffy American. What traitorously vile jackanapes. The warlord's vengence of the Dehydrated Corpse will not be kind...

TRAITORS IN THEIR MIDST: A sad day for the Tal Shiar Death Squad of The Dehydrated Corpse of Marcus Tal...

After painstaking research and analysis, with the help and inspiration of Flying Aqua Badger, I found damning evidence on this poor excuse for a 'blog'.

BUT THERE IS A TWIST TO THIS TAIL

Although backed by the blood money of this dark figure

I have divined the work of a greater and darker powah pulling the strings from a careful reading of the dessicated one's blog. The dessicated one received, one morning a few months ago, a mysterious 1970s album by the Funk Rock band Jeronimo Johnstone and the Magnificents. Drawing on my considerable intellect and experience in the field of intelligence, and the analytical skills of Flying Aqua Badger we discovered some disturbing facts.

Although they toured as Jeronimo Johnstone and the Magnificents, this odd band only ever recorded two albums one simply titled Jeronimo and another called Jeronimo with Parachutes under the alias Jeronimo.

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However, utilising my agency and ATS security clearance I discovered that these albums in fact were produced by the KGB in an abandoned cold war project of especial malevolence. Each song contains special subliminal MKULTRA messages devised by the evil architect of the project, a fellow codenamed MAGNIFICENT1. This dangerous and cunning fellow retained the master tapes, but not before releasing the records in France where he used the subliminal messages to fleece millions of teenagers out of their pocket money. The callous fiend manipulated them into sending money to a dilapidated donkey sanctuary in Algeria that DID NOT EXIST.

This is the last known photo of the man codenamed MAGNIFICENT1 from the CIA archives circa 1973:

The agency has sketchy intel which has led them to believe, if he is still alive, MAGNIFICENT1 could have had considerable plastic surgery since, but he always retains his trademark moustache.

Perhaps at some stage we the varying stages of the decaying corpse of Marcus Tal have unwittingly crossed or foiled this masterfiend. It is rumoured within the Agency that during late 2001 that MAGNIFICENT1 resurfaced buying a herd of bulls and a genetics laboratory in Colombia. The Colombian Goverment, however, refute these rumours.

To my dehydrated brother may I suggest that you ruminate your military intellect towards a suitable strategy against the dessicated one and his secret masters.

To my readers, and Flying Aqua Badger D. I thank you for your words of support and acts of shelter.

I shall soon publish my much anticipated Phil Hendrie poem, a symbol of love against the DARKNESS...

PEACE & GOODWILL TO ALL MANKIND