Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Hasselhoff: Smiling Martyr of Toast



The best picture that was ever!
Be written with lawns awash
with respect and show us your fans,
glorious choruses playing, of course with your fans
grand songs of Germanic splendour.

We tried to find out, Dave
Happy Dave Mulleted Dave, our Amazon Hoff
We adore your gentle hands
But most of all a wee in the Offical David Hasselhoff paper airplane

We adore you and Kitt filming Knight Rider.
Then into an elephant you cut a glider.
To David's thong, in paper airplane, retrieving a god.

Understand, The Hasselhoff is a living legend.
No words to in an email receive his hairy manliness.
If you want to see the Hasselhoff, send an elephant
and pray to receive email updates.

For Dave resides in lands where shielded from danger
by heavy chaffing brown hair,
he cannot freely share both muscular body
or mystical Hasselhoff Square.

Oh lord, drop down your David Hasselhoff stories.
Oh Hasselhoff, where shielded from danger by brown hair,
or deluded so-called fan's, who take the piss, shoddy internet broswers
Remember Dave, you are not trousers...


A Poem by the cloned corpse of Marcus Tal
inspired by the brilliance of David Hasselhoff

6 Comments:

Blogger adfjkaj said...

Germans Love David Hasselhoff. Personal story. When David Hasselhoff came to Greece in the mid 1980s for a vist, a friend of mine saw him at a downtown eatery and he was drinking lots of booze and feeling no pain, and he was singing something. Not sure if it's true, but what I heard.

13:35  
Blogger adfjkaj said...

Oh, here's a neat poem for you Mr. Corpse.

I'm not sure where it's from but it's a doozy... Is this yours?

FELIS CATUS,

IS YOUR TAXONOMIC NOMENCLATURE, AN ENDOTHERMIC QUADRUPED,

CARNIVOROUS BY NATURE?

YOUR VISUAL, OLFACTORY AND AUDITORY SENSES

CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR HUNTING SKILLS AND NATURAL DEFENSES.

I FIND MYSELF INTRIGUED BY YOUR SUB-VOCAL OSCILLATIONS,

A SINGULAR DEVELOPMENT OF CAT COMMUNICATIONS

THAT OBVIATES YOUR BASIC HEDONISTIC PREDILECTION

FOR A RHYTHMIC STROKING OF YOUR FUR TO DEMONSTRATE AFFECTION.

A TAIL IS QUITE ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR ACROBATIC TALENTS.

YOU WOULD NOT BE SO AGILE

IF YOU LACKED ITS COUNTERBALANCE,

AND WHEN NOT BEING UTILIZED TO AID IN LOCOMOTION

IT OFTEN SERVES TO ILLUSTRATE THE STATE OF YOUR EMOTION.

OH KITTY, THE COMPLEX LEVELS OF BEHAVIOR YOU DISPLAY

CONNOTE A FAIRLY WELL DEVELOPED COGNITIVE ARRAY,

AND THOUGH YOU ARE NOT SENTIENT

KITTY,

AND DO NOT COMPREHEND

I NONETHELESS

CONSIDER YOU

A TRUE

AND VALUED FRIEND.

23:18  
Blogger the cloned corpse of marcus tal said...

Soon, Scruffy American. I shall smite a poem in your honour. I hope you will enjoy it and bask in its many colored hues.

13:11  
Blogger adfjkaj said...

Yes,

But you didn't tell me who wrote the poem above though.

04:12  
Blogger the cloned corpse of marcus tal said...

Scruffy

Are you some liberal tax-exile in Greece?

Anyways,

Brannon Braga wrote the poem above.

07:32  
Anonymous Wirewool Mullet said...

Diss the hoff and you can fuck off!

lol! I'm so funny, and your not you useless pretend poet...

10:58  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home